The moment your first child enters your life you feel many emotions. In my personal experience, my first child’s thoughts were” Oh sugar honey ice tea” moment. How was I going to take care of myself and a child? Granted I have my husband and family for assistance, but the sheer thought of an individual depending on me was nerve-racking. I kept it to myself during my first pregnancy and stayed very active. I still hiked, exercised, salsa-danced, and practiced yoga. I experienced minimal morning sickness, my emotions remained balanced, and my energy levels were stable. I planned on having my husband join me on the journey, especially with the prenatal classes. Well, all of my dreams went down the drain because in March 2020, the “C” word put the whole world on lockdown. This caused me to focus mainly on my pregnancy and my son. I worked from home and took online classes. When he was born, my body bounced back, with no stretch marks, and my hair was long and thick. I returned to work to complete my training just six weeks postpartum. My life situation gave me the autonomy to be fully immersed in his growth. My husband is a truck driver, and during this time, he spent about 6 days on the road. We shared a rental home with Mom, so having an on-site sitter was glorious. Especially since my son is the first boy and grandchild. There wasn’t much going on in the world, so nothing was truly missed. Once things began to open, I was masked up, taking Mommy and me classy at Gymboree.
Then came my pregnancy with baby number two. My morning sickness lasted longer, my emotions were all over the place (mostly anger and annoyance), I was tired, my hair was shedding, and I felt super heavy. I had no will to do any activity and had to go into the office once a month. During this time, my son was extremely clingy, and I wasn’t there for it. I was so out of sorts that I even got a therapist to help me try and figure out WTF was going on. I was truly going to quit my job because I was over any nonsense. I even instructed my husband to switch trucking jobs because I didn’t want to raise two children on my own. I graduated from my Dietetic Technician program and was actively studying for the certification exam, which I scheduled 2 months after my daughter’s birth. I also decided it was a great idea to get a certification to teach Children’s Yoga. I had everything together and knew my daughter was due to be born around August 26. Unfortunately, my wonderful daughter gave me false labor on August 12. This was the day before I was supposed to get my hair braided; therefore, I canceled my appointment. When I realized she was playing games, I booked my appointment for August 22. Therefore, she also rescheduled and decided to be born. My body semi-bounced back, but stretch marks were still visible, my hair was constantly breaking, and I returned to work around 8 weeks later. They say each pregnancy is different, and my daughter’s pregnancy hit differently. This go round, I was ready to get out and explore, but I felt tied down because I now have two little people to think about. My mom was down to watch one, but not two, especially a fussy one.
I’m usually the go-getter, setting goals and chasing deadlines like an adulting pro. I mean, I had a timeline for getting pregnant with my second child. Then, there was the process of becoming a certified Dietetic Technician immediately after graduation, as well as serving as a wellness coach to my clients. Instead, Life said, “Hold my drink!” and threw me some curveballs. The slap to the face was flunking the Dietetic Tech exam not once, but twice. It was a confidence knockdown – I felt like I was failing at this thing called life.
During one of my yoga training sessions, I learned about the fourth trimester, which refers to the period from birth to 12 weeks postpartum. Additionally, a nurse friend informed me that it typically takes a woman’s body around 18 months to 2 years to recover after pregnancy, depending on various factors. In the United States, short-term disability provides 6-8 weeks of coverage, while FMLA offers 12 weeks of unpaid leave or paid time off. It often feels like postpartum mothers are expected to resume their responsibilities quickly after giving birth, much like heifers are expected to produce milk on the farm.
I was given a reality check: that it’s cool to soak up those incredible moments, especially when they involve your little ones. We’re all about moving on to the next thing, right? We have a list of things we want to accomplish in our free time – work, gym, parties, globetrotting – and we’re like, “Gotta go, gotta go!” However, it’s perfectly fine to bask in the glow of a joyous moment, especially when it comes to your children. Personally, I’ve discovered, thanks to my little crumb snatchers, that it’s all about savoring the journey with them. No rush back to adulting, because let’s face it, we’ll be doing that job for life!
